Sports Briefs: At Media Day 2012, I'd Like to Ask . . .

(Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie didn't attend Media Day at Super Boxl XLVI in Indianapolis, but if they did, here is what they would have asked members of the New England Patriots and New York Giants. Originally published Feb. 3, 2012)

Joe: I'd like to ask Commissioner Goodell how he differentiates the Super Bowl from gladiatorial contests?

Chris: I’d like to ask Giselle Bundchen to either stop sending spam or take me off her e-mail list.

Brad: I'd like to ask Eli Manning if he is feeling any extra pressure to win since they are playing in Indianapolis at the home field of his brother's team?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask Tom Brady how he throws so well.

Joe: I'd like to ask Eli Manning if he values life as a professional quarterback in the NFL more than he values life?

Chris: I’d like to ask Chad Ochocinco if he is still on the practice squad for Sporting Kansas City.

Brad: I'd like to ask Osi Umenyiora how he misunderstood the rules for media sessions? Has he never watched the Super Bowl or any of the events leading up to it?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask the Patriots how they got their mascot.

Joe: I'd like to ask both team's head coaches if they have 'spying-on-your-opponents' manuals?

Chris: I’d like to ask Tom Brady if he and Josh McDaniels exchange backrubs and massages with each other.

Brad: I'd like to ask Tom Brady if he thinks the Giants will be utilizing their strategy of going after him to win this Super Bowl? It has worked in the past, but has it lead Brady to come up with new techniques?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask the winning team what they will do to celebrate winning the Super Bowl.

Joe: I'd like to ask the Patriots' medical team if Gronk's high ankle sprain is just part of the show?

Chris: I’d like to ask Justin Tuck to refuse to do any more Subway commercials alongside Michael Strahan.

Brad: I'd like to ask Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman what he feels will be his biggest contribution to this year's Super Bowl? Does the ability to play multiple positions create more stress when preparing for a game, especially when that game is the Super Bowl?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask how it feels to play in the Super Bowl.

Joe: I'd like to ask Madonna how she really feels about Elton?

Chris: I’d like to ask Tom Brady if he donated his hair clippings to Locks of Love.

Brad: I'd like to ask Larry Izzo if this has been an emotional week for him preparing to face his old team, the Patriots, in the Super Bowl? Is it bothering him that he is here this year in a coaching capacity for the Giants rather than as a player for the Patriots?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask if your team wasn't playing in the Super Bowl which team would you like to see in your place.

Joe: I'd like to ask Tom Coughlin to state Bill Belichick's best quality.

Chris: I’d like to ask Tom Coughlin about his nose’s ability to glow red in cold weather and if he is a distant relative of Rudolph.

Brad: I'd like to ask Rob Gronkowski if he feels not practicing will strengthen his ankle enough to play in the Super Bowl and also, does he feel the lack of practice leading up to the big game will affect his game in any way?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask what are you going to do until the next football season begins.

Joe: I'd like to ask Bill Belichick to state Tom Coughlin's best quality.

Chris: I’d like to ask Brian Hoyer if it's disheartening to know that Tom Brady would most likely have to lose both legs, both arms and be reduced to nothing but a torso before he would be allowed to replace him.

Brad: I'd like to ask Brandon Jacobs if he is worried that this may be his last game as a Giant? Does he feel he can remain calm and put on a show of good sportmanship toward the fans regardless of the outcome of the game on Sunday?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask when you were little did you dream of playing in the Super Bowl.

Joe: I'd like to ask NBC--"Do you really need a five-plus hours pre-game show?"

Chris: I’d like to ask Antonio Pierce if he allowed any of the Giants linebackers to inherit his air horn when he retired.

Brad: I'd like to ask Tom Coughlin, knowing he treats his son-in-law, Chris Snee, as any other player, if he feels a special bond sharing the Super Bowl experience with him? How is this year better or worse than being at the Super Bowl in 2008?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask the Patriots who they wish they could play in the Super Bowl.

Joe: I'd like to ask Bill Belichick if he ever answers a question in more than five words?

Chris: I’d like to ask Bill Belichick how often his friends or family see him at night and confuse him with the Ghost of Christmas Future.

Brad: I'd like to ask Patriots head coach Bill Belichick how long he has been friends with Bon Jovi? Does he feel playing Bon Jovi songs during practices pumps up his players better than working out to, say, LMFAO?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask if you ever played on a losing team and what did you learn from that season.

Joe: I'd like to ask the NFL when the Super Bowl is going to have Tweet Stations on the field just like the Pro Bowl?

Chris: I’d like to ask Wes Welker how it felt wearing clothing in college that had TT all over it.

Brad: I'd like to ask both the Giants and the Patriots whose idea it was to have Madonna as the halftime show?

Ralphie: I’d like to ask what advice you would give to someone who wants to play in the Super Bowl one day.

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

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