Sports Briefs: Boxers or Briefs?


(Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Chris: When it comes down to answering the question that has been posed to presidents and paupers alike, the response to “boxers or briefs?” is more often than not determined by comfort, thread count and whether Manny Pacquiao is nearby. Seeing as how I am both taller and weigh more than said leading man and costar Timothy Bradley, I am inclined to answer “definitely briefs,” ergo making it two loses in a row for Pacquiao.

Brad: I get the impression that even Bradley thought he had lost. But I also don't know exactly how the scoring works, etc. If he won fairly, according to scoring or whatever, then he won.

Ralphie: I think most people who were watching thought Manny won, but then, Bradley won in the split decision. I don't like boxing very much at all, and I don't think they cared much if it was fair or not.

Chris: Boxing judges have been prematurely ending my fights since 1987, from “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!” to the boxing game on the Nintendo Wii.

Brad: It does seem that it would benefit Bob Arum to have rigged it to be in Bradley's favor. If Bradley won controversially, then a rematch would be demanded and Arum would make out financially.

Joe: Human judging is "rigged" by its very nature--because of all the prejudices, preferences and personalities involved in being human.

Chris: It did seem suspicious for a Pacquiao/Bradley rematch in November to already be advertised on posters throughout the arena, on sandwich boards the judges were wearing and on each fighter’s trunks.

Joe: A pre-fight poster for rematch . . . Could be creative advertising ploy or . . . ?

Brad: Who knows? Was it actually seen, or is this a fan exaggerating?

Ralphie: I do think it was rigged. They knew they could make a lot of money with a re-match. I think they kind of expected a re-match.

Joe: A rematch? Who even understands the hierarchy of boxing rankings except for the promoters? Call it now--other guy wins, setting up the "rubber" match.

Ralphie: I think people will say negative stuff about it, but they'll still buy tickets.

Brad: I don't think it would negatively affect it. It would generate a lot of revenue, which is always good. And it gives fans another fight to watch. There have been rumors of fights being fixed back even before my parents can remember. Unfortunately, boxing isn't the only sport that these allegations come up in.

Chris: Referees, umpires, officials and judges are all secret members of the Screen Actors Guild. NBA Commissioner David Stern takes pride in his sport’s high television ratings when the Miami Heat or Los Angeles Lakers are in the Finals. Anyone who exposes this receives a complimentary two-bed, one-bath suite in Cell Block A, alongside Tim Donaghy.

Brad: It boils down to whether or not you can get past that and enjoy the sporting event. No, I really don't want to see anything but a good fair fight, but as long as it's not blatantly faked, then I guess I can deal with it.

Ralphie: I didn't like boxing before, and I still don't like it. I take karate, and I'd much rather see a karate match than a boxing match. Boxing is becoming like professional wrestling.

Joe: Much ado about nothing--a sport that has always been controversial but with no real ramifications in reality.

Chris: Boxing does prepare its participants for eventual careers in the acting and theatrical industry. Mike Tyson is scheduled to perform on Broadway this summer. And if Manny Pacquiao continues with his current training, he could eventually land a lead role in “Porgy & Bess.”

Joe: My opinion of boxing is that it’s irrelevant and has been since the '70s.

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.


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