Sports Briefs: College Football Top 20 Anticipations

(Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Chris: Since The Associated Press, USA Today and ESPN are now blocking our phone calls regarding our quadrivial request to vote in their respective college football polls, we have decided to create our own poll. Those organizations may reconsider, however, considering our impressive use of the word “quadrivial.”

Ralphie: The No. 20 anticipation is watching the Auburn Tigers play in the Georgia Dome.

Brad: The No. 19 anticipation is Coach Bill O'Brien’s ability to raise his team up and make a fresh start for the Lions.

Chris: The No. 18 anticipation is for the plastic football I wrote for and requested in 1996 from Florida State to arrive in the mail. I’m beginning to think it got lost in the mail or was pilfered by Burt Reynolds.

Joe: The No. 17 anticipation is watching Mizzou (in the words of Coach Pinkel) "just bring it" when they play those weaklings in the SEC.

Ralphie: The No. 16 anticipation is watching football games with my Daddy and Grandpa.

Brad: The No. 15 anticipation is watching Notre Dame's dancing leprechaun.

Chris: The No. 14 anticipation is hoping that Lee Corso, rather than putting on a mascot head at the end of “College GameDay,” goes against the script and unexpectedly pulls off his own head, causing Chris Fowler, Kirk Herbstreit and that week’s special guest to simultaneously faint.

Joe: The lucky No. 13 anticipation is to see if Penn State can play for pride and redemption from their scandal and beat Ohio opening day and go forward from there.

Ralphie: The No. 12 anticipation is eating Tiger Taco Salad before every game - my family's game day meal.

Brad: The No. 11 anticipation is how well freshman Wes Lunt will handle the demands of QB his first year.

Chris: The No. 10 anticipation is seeing the looks on the Oklahoma Sooners’ collective faces after they have sampled a bevy of fried foods at the Texas State Fair and are told that “fried Sooner” is horse meat.

Joe: The No. 9 anticipation is looking forward to Navy v. Notre Dame from Ireland. What genius came up with this format?

Ralphie: The No. 8 anticipation is watching Aubie get dressed in all kinds of crazy costumes.

Brad: The No. 7 anticipation is Urban Meyer return to coaching at OSU.

Chris: The No. 6 anticipation is for the possibility of one of the live animal mascots who attend games to contract rabies. If Wisconsin and Michigan would only continue the tradition they enjoyed in the 1920s of bringing live badgers and wolverines to games in cages, they could resume the thrill of uncertainty when questioning, “Is that foam around his mouth, or did he get into the cotton candy?”

Joe: The No. 5 anticipation is looking forward to not recognizing what conferences are being represented when whoever is playing, especially if you are a former WAC fan.

Ralphie: The No. 4 anticipation is watching the Auburn Tigers take back the bragging in the Iron Bowl!

Brad: The No. 3 anticipation is the Arkansas, Texas A&M rivalry rekindling.

Chris: The No. 2 anticipation is seeing the looks on the Texas A&M Aggies’ collective faces when they realize that, even though the SEC currently provides a better strength of schedule than the Big 12, they actually have to win conference games, as opposed to losing each one, for the strength of schedule to positively affect their BCS ranking.

Joe: The No. 1 anticipation for the college football season is finding a comfortable bar with big TVs, cold beer and pretty waitresses where I can slide in the next day and repeat the process for the NFL.

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

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