Sports Briefs: Leaving 2012 NBA Camps

(Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Joe: The Atlanta Hawks still need to work on rebuilding . . . not the play of the team but on recognizing the names of their players. Who are these guys?

Chris: The Boston Celtics still need to work on finalizing negotiations with Ponce de Leon, either to secure the rights to his map which shows the location of the Fountain of Youth or to sign him as a backup power forward.

Brad: The Brooklyn Nets still need to work on building a fan base in Brooklyn.

Ralphie: The Charlotte Bobcats still need to work on getting their Hornets back.

Joe: The Chicago Bulls still need to work on getting a new chant instead of the old "Booz," which we all know is for Boozer, not "boos" for loser.

Chris: The Cleveland Cavaliers still need to work on generating enough revenue to fund what will surely be a substantial bill from FedEx Office to print a building-size banner of Kyrie Irving to decorate the side of the Landmark Office Tower.

Brad: The Dallas Maverick still need to work on their roster so that they can win a few games.

Ralphie: The Denver Nuggets still need to work on getting uniforms they like enough to keep.

Joe: The Detroit Pistons still need to work on not being the same old Pistons--I mean, the biggest news of the day for them is that Coach Frank lost power in his Jersey home from "Sandy."

Chris: The Golden State Warriors still need to work on talking Coach Mark Jackson into shimmying on the sidelines after his team makes big plays.

Brad: The Houston Rockets still need to work on giving Terrence Jones court time to keep his game in shape.

Ralphie: The Indiana Pacers still need to work on getting the NBA to let them play 82 home games.

Joe: The Los Angeles Clippers still need to work on turning their solid stars into superstars, their sleepers into leapers and their chumps into champs.

Chris: The Los Angeles Lakers still need to work on convincing the Miami Heat to trade them LeBron James for Metta World Peace, though considering the Lakers’ abilities to persuade teams to gut their rosters, this should not be a difficult task.

Brad: The Memphis Grizzlies still need to work on making up for the opening night showing.

Ralphie: The Miami Heat still need to work on a repeat.

Joe: The Milwaukee Bucks still need to work on getting a lamb (Doron Lamb) into the rotation. At least they signed their new lease, so they won't have to play outside.

Chris: The Minnesota Timberwolves still need to work on having a sense of urgency, since Phil Jackson is currently retired, to help Rick Adelman win an NBA championship, without having to worry about a Jackson-coached team knocking them out of the playoffs.

Brad: The New Orleans Hornets still need to work on making sure Eric Gordon doesn't further injure himself.

Ralphie: The New York Knicks still need to work on getting Ray Felton back in 2010-11 shape.

Joe: The Oklahoma City Thunder still need to work on playing without James Harden and its effect on the team chemistry.

Chris: The Orlando Magic still need to work on convincing the public that they are not a farm system for the Los Angeles Lakers.

Brad: The Philadelphia 76ers still need to work on their free throw game.

Ralphie: The Phoenix Suns still need to work on shooting.

Joe: The Portland Trail Blazers still need to work on getting security to recognize all the newbies--GM, coach and four rookies.

Chris: The Sacramento Kings still need to work on getting their mascot, Slamson the Lion, some playing time, seeing as how he has better defensive skills than all but two players on the payroll.

Brad: The San Antonio Spurs still need to work on their rookie players working well with veteran players like Duncan and Parker.

Ralphie: The Toronto Raptors still need to work on staying ahead of the Brooklyn Nets.

Joe: The Utah Jazz still need to work on figuring out how their name, "Jazz," relates to anything in UTAH. "Utes" is already taken.

Chris: The Washington Wizards still need to work on finalizing their request to the league office to allow them to use an old ABA basketball during games, simultaneously making the red, white and blue ball camouflage against their uniforms.

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

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