Sports Briefs: The Pelican Brief

(Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Chris: After introducing Hugo the Hornet to a hair growth supplement, surgically widening his jaw, dismembering his stinger and ultimately terminating his employment, New Orleans’ treatment of Hugo cannot be considered humane and is most likely to result in a lawsuit from PETM, also known as the People for the Ethical Treatment of Mascots.

Joe: New Orleans' name change from Charlotte's Hornets to N.O.'s Pelicans is good for fans, since all franchises need to replace their jersey sales every few years.

Brad: I think it's a good move to boost New Orleans. It could help the local economy by promoting not only the team but state nature awareness by incorporating information about the pelican being the state bird.

Ralphie: The name Hornets never really made sense for New Orleans, but the name Pelicans does make sense for the area. Overall, I think it's definitely better.

Chris: I do hope New Orleans will treat their unnamed and yet-to-be-revealed pelican mascot better than Hugo, who was an orange-headed stepchild. I think Hugo would even be willing to return to Charlotte, should transportation be provided.

Brad: They could because the Hornet name really isn't attached to New Orleans. And since the new Pelicans name is much more a part of the area, the Hornets could reconnect with its origin in Charlotte.

Ralphie: I do. I think the fans would like that.

Joe: Hey, the NBA owns all the logos, so why not keep marketing new names, logos and jerseys. But in Charlotte, it’s probably whatever MICHAEL J wants.

Chris: Aside from traveling to Utah and robbing the Jazz of their jerseys and nickname at gunpoint, New Orleans’ choice of the Pelicans was clearly inspired by someone who, not only had been terrified of the scenes in “Jurassic Park III” involving pterodactyls, but had also mistakenly thought they were pelicans.

Brad: I really like the new logo design. The alternate pelican head in the fleur-de-lis symbol is my favorite, though. I like that it is a fresh new look with a bit-of-an-edge facial expression on the pelican.

Joe: The City of New Orleans' logo is the fleur-de-lis, but the Saints already have that one. Maybe they could have gone with the leopard dogs (state dog), or since the pelican logo is really a "brown" pelican--the New Orleans Browns.

Ralphie: I think it's really cool. The colors are nice, and I like how it sort of looks like a pilot. That works with the pelicans/flight/jumping for the hoops thing.

Joe: The logo shows some real creative genius—a New Orleans street sign with a pelican spread-winged underneath, as opposed to a bee with a basketball.

Chris: I don’t know whether New Orleans will use it at their home games or if opponents will play it as a taunt, but the sound clip of Crocodile Dundee shouting, “Get on the right side of the road, you pelican!” needs to be prominently involved on P.A. systems next season. That and a 7-foot-tall pelican mascot who looks like he could do substantial damage to a windshield, were he to poop.

Ralphie: I wouldn't have thought of it, and when I first heard it, I didn't like it. The more I think about it, though, the more I like it. I think it makes a lot of sense.

Brad: Definitely! It brings awareness to the state bird, as well as boosting fan interest in the team. People are going to want to see how they live up to the new name.

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

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