Major League Soccer's 20 clubs are represented by 15 mascots, whose duties range from escorting their respective teams onto the field to prowling the stands and entertaining supporters.
Sport's Opinion: "He might be named after another Chicago icon, Clark W. Griswold. The only person I can think of who wouldn't like Sparky is Cruella De Vil."
Name: Marco Van Bison, Edson, Jorge El Mapache and Franz
Species: Bison, Eagle, Raccoon and Fox
Sport's Opinion: "Since they have four mascots, the Rapids should never have a problem figuring out who goes on their Mascot Mount Rushmore."
Name: Crew Cat
Sport's Opinion: "Since he's a workingman's cat, I think Crew Cat needs to carry a lunch box. It would go along nicely with his hard hat."
Sport's Opinion: "Apparently, Talon has large talons. I know Big Bird is tall, but he's just a canary. Talon is a lot scarier, since he's a bird of prey."
Name: Tex Hooper
Sport's Opinion: "A bull wearing red does not seem to be a good combination, but Tex always has a big grin on his face. Maybe he's a friendly bull, just like Ferdinand."
Sport's Opinion: "Diesel may be orange, but he is technically considered a red fox. The only other red foxes I know are Robin Hood, Tod from 'The Fox and the Hound' and Fred Sanford."
Los Angeles Galaxy
Sport's Opinion: "Having traveled a billion miles to get to Earth, he's seems to be in a very good mood. I wonder if he knows ALF?"
Sport's Opinion: "His name sounds like a breath mint, and I'm sure Tac-Tik could use a Tic Tac, since he's a dog. But is that a hat, or does he have a soccer ball growing out of his head?"
New England Revolution
Sport's Opinion: "Slyde is one of the original MLS mascots. But even though you get crazy when you're old, he can just say that he's crazy like a fox!"
Sport's Opinion: "Kingston is the most realistic-looking lion mascot I've ever seen. That also means he's the scariest lion mascot I've ever seen. I will play dead if he ever comes near me."
Name: Timber Joey
Sport's Opinion: "Timber Joey is the most skilled MLS mascot there is! He uses a real chainsaw to cut real wood. Even Paul Bunyan would be jealous."
Real Salt Lake
Sport's Opinion: "Rather than him being a cowardly lion, I need to have courage to approach Leo. He's a lion with no pupils!"
San Jose Earthquakes
Sport's Opinion: "I'm not sure what Q is. He seems to be pretty young to already have gray hair. His blue skin may mean he's related to the Smurfs. Or maybe he's a long-lost Muppet."
Sporting Kansas City
Sport's Opinion: "He's got the perfect name for a dog. And since dogs are man's best friend, Blue must have a lot of friends in Kansas City."
Species: Belted Kingfisher
Sport's Opinion: "Fish is his favorite dish, and I bet 'Hold Tight' is his favorite song. Though every time I see a 6-foot-tall bird, I just hope he doesn't confuse me for a fish."