Sports Briefs: Leaving 2013 MLB Camps

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Chris: The Arizona Diamondbacks still need to work on keeping Paul Goldschmidt far away from anyone suspiciously resembling or named James Bond or Austin Powers.

Brad: The Atlanta Braves still need to work on being team players and working together.

Ralphie: The Baltimore Orioles still need to work on giving Jason Hammel enough play time.

Chris: The Boston Red Sox still need to work on the concept of pitching the baseball past opposing batters without the ball being hit, without it hitting the batter and without it being too far removed from the strike zone that Plastic Man could not catch it.

Brad: The Chicago Cubs still need to work on not getting injured.

Ralphie: The Chicago White Sox still need to work on scoring runs.

Chris: The Cincinnati Reds still need to work on ensuring an eventual game day giveaway of a Dusty Baker disguise, composed of a hat, glasses and toothpick.

Brad: The Cleveland Indians still need to work on their pitching skills.

Ralphie: The Colorado Rockies still need to work on getting out of last place.

Chris: The Detroit Tigers still need to work on avoiding having to play any National League teams in the World Series.

Brad: The Houston Astros still need to work on finding a pitcher.

Ralphie: The Kansas City Royals still need to work on making it to the World Series this season.

Chris: The Los Angeles Angels still need to work on their geography, considering that there are 40 miles between the town the franchise pilfered for its current name and the town where the team actually plays and used to have in its name. Viva Anaheim!

Brad: The Los Angeles Dodgers still need to work on building up their farm team so they don't have to contract such expensive players.

Ralphie: The Miami Marlins still need to work on having a shortstop who will stick around for awhile.

Chris: The Milwaukee Brewers still need to work on finding Ryan Braun a diet and training regimen he’s comfortable with that does not include illegal substances.

Brad: The Minnesota Twins still need to work on striking the opposing teams out and not giving away runs.

Ralphie: The New York Mets still need to work on finding a pitcher who is worth the money he makes.

Chris: The New York Yankees still need to work on obtaining a locomotive on which to pack Alex Rodriguez in a box car and railroad out of town.

Brad: The Oakland Athletics still need to work on paying attention in the outfield.

Ralphie: The Philadelphia Phillies still need to work on finishing 2013 with a .500 record.

Chris: The Pittsburgh Pirates still need to work on incorporating stylish red trim back into their hats and uniforms, especially considering that I purchased one of their red-brimmed hats in 1997. This would virtually ensure them making the playoffs.

Brad: The San Diego Padres still need to work on starting the season on a good streak and keeping it going thru the season.

Ralphie: The San Francisco Giants still need to work on finding a strong left fielder.

Chris: The Seattle Mariners still need to work on hitting, getting on base, base-stealing, bunting, hitting and running, sacrifice flies, scoring runs . . . basically anything that involves offense.

Brad: The St. Louis Cardinals still need to work on keeping Wainwright uninjured.

Ralphie: The Tampa Bay Rays still need to work on surviving this season without B.J. Upton and James Shields.

Chris: The Texas Rangers still need to work hand in hand with local airports to ensure anyone coming from Anaheim attempting to lure free agents is not allowed to land.

Brad: The Toronto Blue Jays still need to work on their starting lineup.

Ralphie: The Washington Nationals still need to work on learning how to hit a ball pitched by a leftie.

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

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