Sports Briefs: I Don't Like Rice

(Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Chris: I like rice. I like it mixed with red beans, fried at an Asian restaurant, eaten under spicy food or as a cereal. So I do not appreciate anyone who gives the grain a bad reputation, and lately, former Rutgers basketball coach Mike Rice seems to be responsible for said action.

Ralphie: I think he should have been fired. He shouldn't have been acting like that.

Brad: He is really just a bully in a position of power over students. Winning a game is never worth treating anyone that way. I wonder with the scandals at other schools, if that coach was under pressure from his bosses to win games at any cost?

Chris: All I can think of when I see the footage of Mike Rice "coaching" his players is that I wish someone could have gone back in a time machine to 1997, kidnapped Latrell Sprewell before his incident with P.J. Carlesimo and given him a scholarship to Rutgers.

Brad: I think there are a lot more coaches like this than we think. Winning college sports is a big deal at a lot of schools.

Ralphie: I think there may be a lot of coaches out there who do that - especially during practice. They probably wouldn't do it at a game because the fans would see it and get mad.

Chris: From what I have experienced, coaches are supposed to act very civilized during games, often wearing a suit and tie and serving hors d’oeuvres to parents and anyone observing practice. Unobserved practices and the locker room provide opportunities to demonstrate shoving techniques, assay whether certain objects can be dented if hit hard enough and test the limits of how loud a human voice can get. I would reveal names of these coaches, but I only ever knew them as “Coach,” which will undoubtedly relieve multiple individuals.

Ralphie: I wouldn't like playing the sport anymore because that would make me very uncomfortable.

Brad: I have been extremely lucky to have had great coaches so far in my own sports. I would hope that I would have the courage to stand up for myself and not tolerate being treated that way. College scholarships are very important to make attending college possible, but there has to be some person in authority to talk to.

Chris: Learning to emulate Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde is a skill that anyone studying to be a coach is trained to do. I can only speculate that coaches such as Tony Dungy and Tom Landry were forced to wear dunce caps and sequestered to the corner.

Ralphie: Rice would be dealing with adults who are getting paid if he were an NBA coach, but even then, he shouldn't behave like that.

Brad: Yes and no. While it's more like a job in the NBA, no one should be hit or punched or talked to by their boss like that.

Ralphie: I think it might be time for him to choose a new career. He must have anger problems, so he shouldn't be coaching. People need to watch out and make sure he doesn't try to coach a little kids' team!

Chris: Rice would be the ideal candidate for a remake of the "Twilight Zone" episode "Judgment Night," with Rice being a player on a team coached by someone like himself. To make the episode more entertaining, Rice would be outfitted in a shrunken jersey and basketball shorts not much bigger than a Speedo and be covered in birth marks that resemble bullseyes, which actually ding when hit by a thrown basketball.

Brad: I think after some counseling and anger management, maybe he could coach in an assistant type role, but I don't think he should be in control of a team again.

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

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