Sports Briefs: 2013 NBA Finals Media Day

(The Gab Four didn't attend Media Day at the 2013 NBA Finals, mainly because there was no Media Day. But had there been, here is what they would have liked to ask members of the Miami Heat and San Antonio Spurs . . . Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Joe: I'd like to ask Tony Parker if he was a better player with Eva Longoria or without her?

Chris: I’d like to ask Tony Parker just one question, and he’s the only qualified player, coach or administrator in the Finals qualified to answer: French fries or French toast?

Brad: I'd like to ask Tony Parker, after playing point guard in the NBA, how does it compare to the French League.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask Tony Parker what his favorite memory in the NBA is.

Joe: I'd like to ask LeBron who was the hardest to guard: retiree Jason Kidd or Grant Hill?

Chris: I’d like to ask Chris Andersen if he or anyone else has ever mistaken his arms, back, neck or any other part of his body for a coloring book.

Brad: I'd like to ask LeBron James if he feels the Spurs will have an edge over the Heat, since the Heat is coming off a seven-game series and the Spurs had time to relax.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask Lebron James if he eats Wheaties.

Joe: I'd like to ask Tim Duncan if this is the best team the Spurs have ever had?

Chris: I’d like to ask Tim Duncan if he still uses Edge Pro Gel, and at what age did David Robinson stop helping him shave?

Brad: I'd like to ask Kawhi Leonard if he has any defense tricks to keep the Heat at bay.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask Chris Bosh what his personal goals are during the NBA Finals.

Joe: I'd like to ask Bosh if he ever feels like a third wheel on a bicycle?

Chris: I’d like to ask Dwyane Wade if he thinks drinking Gatorade before bed may be the reason he and Kevin Durant dream about each other every night.

Brad: I'd like to ask Dwyane Wade if he thinks he will be able to last thru the series, or if his knee will sideline him.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask Tim Duncan why he doesn't try to get a large fan base.

Joe: I'd like to ask Tim Duncan if they win it all, will he go out on top?

Chris: I’d like to ask Justin Bieber if he realizes his acid-washed denim Miami Heat hat, leather shirt, multiple gold chains, indoor sunglasses and lip gloss may turn out to be this year’s No. 1 Halloween costume.

Brad: I'd like to ask the Spurs if they feel there is one Heat player that they need to watch more than another to win.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask both the San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat if they know that Senator Ted Cruz and Senator Marco Rubio have a bet about who is going to win.

Joe: I'd like to ask Tim Duncan if they do not win it all, will he retire anyway?

Chris: I’d like to ask the Spurs’ Coyote if he personally has ever purchased any products from the Acme Corporation and accompanied Wile E. Coyote on any Road Runner hunting trips.

Brad: I'd like to ask Mike Miller if he thinks he will break any 3-pointer records this series.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask Shane Battier what the best part of playing for the Heat is.

Joe: I'd like to ask Ginobili since it has been six years since their trio made it to the Finals, do they think they can win it all despite their age?

Chris: I’d like to ask Manu Ginobili if he is either knowingly or unknowingly going to the same barber who cut both Friar Tuck’s and Zinedine Zidane’s hair.

Brad: I'd like to ask either team who pumps them up better, the fans or the dancers/cheerleaders.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask Gregg Popovich what one piece of advice he would give to a young kid about playing basketball.

Joe: I'd like to ask Coach Popovich if he can trust the trio to take over the game without a lot of direction?

Chris: I’d like to ask Coach Popovich what was his favorite meal served to him while in the Air Force, and if he has ever thrown up in an airplane.

Brad: I'd like to ask Erik Spoelstra if he feels working his way up to head coach better prepares him to coach his team than a coach from another team that becomes a head coach.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask Erik Spoelstra which player he thinks is his most important player.

Joe: I'd like to ask LeBron if he thinks his trio works together as well as the Spurs’ trio?

Chris: I’d like to ask Norris Cole if he realizes how effective he could be as a waiter, seeing as how his flattop would allow him to carry trays of dishes in both hands, while simultaneously balancing one on top of his head.

Brad: I'd like to ask Tracy McGrady if he will retire if the Spurs win or give his career another year.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask the San Antonio Spurs how it feels to be the good guy for a change.

Joe: I'd like to ask Tim Duncan what is the main key to beating Miami?

Chris: I’d like to ask James Jones if he showers after games.

Brad: I'd like to ask Gregg Popovich if he feels being the second coach to win 900 games adds any pressure to win this series, or does it give him an added confidence boost.

Ralphie: I'd like to ask Gregg Popovich why it takes him such a long time to answer questions when he's being interviewed.

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

1 comment:

  1. I'd like to ask LeBron James if he read my article about not seeing him in any commercials? And if that had any bearing on his decision to be the cover athlete on NBA2K14 :)

    - Joseph

    ReplyDelete

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