Sports Briefs: Black Friday with the San Antonio Spurs

(Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Chris: No team's fanbase is more thankful for Black Friday than the San Antonio Spurs', considering that their former, lime green, pink and orange paint-splash logo lent itself to "Rainbow Sherbet Friday" promotions.

Brad: The black uniforms look really good. The logo is pretty cool looking. Definitely looks like a spur. The tribute camouflage uniforms were a nice gesture for the military, even if they're a bit hard to see (wink wink).

 
Ralphie: I think their uniforms and logo are really good. The black really makes them stand out. The only thing I don't like is that the bad guy cowboys wear black, and I don't think they should want people to see them as bad guys.

Joe: Well, let's see, a change may be just what the doctor ordered. Maybe it will change their luck . . .

Chris: After winning the lotteries in 1987 and 1997 and drafting David Robinson and Tim Duncan, respectively, it seems it would behoove the Spurs to find a Black Friday sale for lottery tickets, purchase wheel barrow full of them and then draft Julius Randle.

Ralphie: We don't even leave our house on Black Friday. People get crazy, and my mom would rather just find sales closer to Christmas or shop online.

Brad: This year we are taking a family vacation on Black Friday. We haven't shopped the Black Friday deals in store in a few years, but my mom checks the online deals to see what's good.

Joe: We have only once gotten up pre-dawn and stood in line to make a super purchase on Black Friday. It was Target and a computer for our daughter's Christmas present. We got one of the five in stock and it worked out fine. Now back to bed.

Chris: The Spurs could also stand to possibly recruit some of the Black Friday shoppers themselves, particularly those who are adept at boxing out and throwing elbows, as it never hurts to have a more physical presence on the team.

Joe: The Spurs need to buy a DO OVER machine and just keep doing what they have been doing because it is working just fine.

Brad: Gregg Popovich need a to hit the BOGO sale at the office supply store for some new playbooks.

Ralphie: The Spurs need to cowboy-up their image a little more, so they should have a team outing at buy-one-get-one-free sale at the boots store.

Joe: The Spurs need to buy a new rifle for Duncan if he doesn't recalibrate his rifle sights soon.

Chris: Manu Ginobili and Tiago Splitter need to purchase a pair of Jumpsoles, which will add three inches to their vertical leaps, enabling them to grab game-clinching rebounds over Chris Bosh during important Finals games.

Brad: Tim Duncan has to stock up on energy drinks to keep playing.

Ralphie: Coach Popovich needs to invest in a huge supply of Red Bull energy drinks to try to get his team pumped up when they've lost a game and have to turn around and play again the next night.

Joe: The Spurs need to go to the lawn and garden store and buy that fountain of youth, because this old group just keeps on keeping on.

Chris: Tony Parker needs to purchase a pair giant, Mickey Mouse-size gloves to wear, enabling him to either block or inappropriately distract Ray Allen when he is shooting a corner 3 during the closing seconds of an important Finals game.

Brad: The Spurs need to make sure they buy enough cushy chairs for their older players to rest between plays.

Ralphie: The whole team needs to get a belt that's too small. Then, a real cowboy can come teach them how to add a new notch and talk about kicking their game up a notch or two.

Joe: The Spurs need to buy a 55-gallon barrel of that oil they are using to keep this machine oiled, 'cause it is working just fine.

Chris: Marco Belinelli should purchase gift cards to the Olive Garden so his Italian friends and family can all sample "authentic Italian" food.

Brad: Tony Parker needs to stock up on Kleenex for the Finals.

Ralphie: The whole team needs a bunch of duct tape decorated with basketballs to patch their hearts up after that awful loss to the Heat.

Joe: The Spurs should be buying some hotel rooms in the area, because opponents are going to need them deep into the playoffs the way this team is playing.

Chris: I assume some foreign country is having a Black Friday sale for the Spurs' 2013 NBA Championship T-shirts.

Brad: Tiago Splitter needs to hit the book sales for a "Basketball for Dummies" book.

Ralphie: The team needs to find a mascot store and get a new mascot. That coyote is just weird-looking.


Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.
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