Sports Briefs: Going Green with the Green Bay Packers

(Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Chris: How did the town of Green Bay, Wis., get its name? As we all know, water is blue in color. And the only way to change the color blue into the color green is to add the color yellow. Does this mean Green Bay residents have been preserving water since the town’s founding by relieving themselves into the bay, leading to the town’s original French name, “Baye des Puans,” which translates to “Bay of Bad Odors”? Of course not! Green Bay residents are not that eco-friendly. Rather, it means the town’s massive supply of cheese is prone to melt each summer, causing lakes and streams of yellow cheese to be dumped into the bay, creating a body of water no one wants to swim in. This is why everyone in Green Bay attends Packers games, rather than visit the beach.

Joe: The Packers will have another great season . . . at the box office. Nothing but green, cold hard cash for the eleventh hundred year in a row. The GB franchise is unique in pro sports - sold out forever, championship history, and a money-making machine.

Brad: This year should be fruitful year. We should see player talent sprouting up all over. Especially if they buy the right seeds.

Ralphie: I'd like to see the Packers and other teams go green by bringing back older, more developed players because then little kids like me could watch the legends play.

Joe: The best players should play, in general. However, when a veteran still has what it takes, I say stay with the vet another year and put the rook on the practice squad for further development.

Chris: The Packers have already reached out to one local legend this off-season. A record-setting quarterback and fan favorite. He played for a couple of other teams in recent years and was out of football for awhile. Everyone knows who he is, though his last name can be somewhat difficult to spell. I know it starts with an “F.” He may be recycled, but I’m sure Aaron Rodgers is happy to welcome Matt Flynn back to the team.

Brad: I would definitely like to see them recycle veteran players. I think veteran players should be developing and nurturing younger players. Their experiences are the best fertilizer to grow future players.

Joe: Retaining vets builds team culture and character over time. Players know they will be rewarded for their talents and performance and not discarded for a cheaper rookie at the drop of a hat.

Ralphie: I think the Green Bay Packers will have a better season than last years because of Clay Matthews.

Chris: One has to commend Matthews, A.J. Hawk, Eddie Lacy and others for conserving energy by not getting haircuts. By setting this kind of example, I can only imagine these gentlemen shop at their local Piggly Wiggly with reusable shopping bags made out of sweat-stained Packers uniforms.

Joe: The Green Bay Packers uni’s are old school. They say football the old fashion way. Line up and run right at you. They could tell you where they are going to run and dare you to stop them. It says snow, frigid temperatures, overcoats and hats, cheerleaders in toboggans and gloves, fans with cheeseheads, and a lot of trophies.

Ralphie: The colors check out with me, but I don't like the logo. It's like they copied UGA's logo.

Joe: I still like the uniforms.

Brad: They really need to update their uniforms. The colors just don't stand out to me. They seem old. Like they have been recycling the same uniforms for 35 years.

Joe: I like the uniforms only because of the tradition of the Green Bay Packers. If I were designing new uni's, it would not look like the green and yellow Girl Scout theme they have now.

Brad: One way fans could be more green would be to bring water bottles from home instead using disposable cups. Or have the arenas sell reusable bottles and cups that the fans can keep bringing back with them. Always throwing trash away is a big help too.

Ralphie: They could all eat more hamburgers and hot dogs.

Chris: Depending on whether or not Lambeau Field’s food vendors are up to code, eating unknown processed meats made from either semi-protected animals or old leather helmets may result in one’s face turning a peculiar shade of green.

Ralphie: The players could drink tons of Powerade right before warm-ups!

Brad: Football teams could figure out some way to produce energy from all the running they do. The coaches pacing would definitely produce a lot. Maybe fit their helmets with solar panels.

Joe: The owners believe you should spend more of your hard-earned green at the games. Families have long been priced out of the market. The cheeseheads could install a solar panel on top of their cheese-hat to heat themselves. We could use those solar lights to light the seat rows and aisles.

Chris: Considering Green Bay, with a population barely over 100,000, is the smallest city with an NFL team, and that players are used to riding fans’ bicycles to and from daily practices during training camp each summer, the idea is surely percolating in Roger Goodell’s head to eventually require all Packers players to ride either bicycles, bicycles built for two or unicycles to their home games or else face a substantial fine.

Joe: The NFL could increase their green impact by traveling by bus, playing games during daytime only, playing only in cold weather to reduce the need for air conditioning, only having one uniform for all games for all times to save fabric, and the most savings could be realized by just eliminating the NFL altogether, but then we would have to watch the NBA - yuck!

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

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