Sports Briefs: The Best Women's Tennis Player Ever

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Chris: I have not often pondered Michael Jackson’s merits as a women’s tennis analyst, but while conducting research as to determine the best player ever, I must concur with the King of Pop. Billie Jean is not my choice. She’s just a girl who Bobby Riggs thinks is slick, but the girl is not my pick.

Joe: Steffi Graf is the greatest lady tennis player of all because of her number of championships and tournaments. Her long career and few injuries allowed her to amass a record career.

Brad: Steffi Graf is one of the greatest tennis players ever, but she just had an incredible career. She is just one of those natural talents, but that doesn't make her the best ever.

Chris: I don’t know if I’m comfortable confirming a German as the best tennis player ever, but because Graf married Andre Agassi, that makes her an American by marriage. If Hallmark has yet to declare a holiday specifically for American-in-laws, they are missing out on a lucrative opportunity, second only to Second Cousins Once Removed Day. Therefore, Graf can be known as the best ever, considering in 1988 alone, she won all four Grand Slams, an Olympic gold, a Grammy, an Emmy and a free order of fries by playing Monopoly at McDonald’s.

Ralphie: Steffi Graf is not the best tennis player ever because she struggled with a weak serve.

Brad: The best tennis player ever is Martina Navratilova because she has had an amazing number of tournament and match wins, and she came back from being blinded by the money that comes with fame, got herself in shape physically and mentally and got on top of her game.

Joe: Martina Navratilova was a great player and was dominant for a period, but her career wins do not match Steffi.

Ralphie: Martina Navratilova is not the best tennis player ever, and she even knows that. She says Serena Williams will break every record.

Chris: Navratilova’s 18 Grand Slam singles titles don’t equal Graf’s 22 singles titles, and other than that, I feel very confident that Graf (currently 45 years old) could beat Navratilova (currently 57 years old) if they played, especially if Navratilova did not wear her glasses or contacts.

Ralphie: Serena Williams is the best tennis player ever because she can be pushed to the edge and still be awesome.

Brad: I don't think Serena Williams is the best tennis player ever because I don't really like her game. She has had a great career, but I think her game play is kind of intimidating. She plays an aggressive game.

Joe: Serena Williams is currently dominating the field, but her age and injuries are catching up with her. Her career totals do not equal Steffi.

Chris: Serena’s most recent highlights from the Wimbledon doubles tournament include having problems catching a tennis ball after bouncing it and being unable to hit her serve across the net. Serena used the excuse of “viral illness,” though I have trouble doing all of those things when I am perfectly healthy. I declare shenanigans on Serena. Bobby Riggs could probably beat her, as well as Michael Jackson.

Joe: Billie Jean King dominated in her day, but the competition was not as good as that which Steffi faced, nor does her record compare.

Ralphie: Billie Jean King is not the best tennis player ever because of her impatience and temper.

Brad: I think Billie Jean King had a great career, and she did wonders for women tennis players. She paved the way for the future great players.

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

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