Sports Briefs: Black Friday with the Chicago White Sox

(Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Chris: Considering that the Chicago White Sox don't actually wear white socks, it is safe to assume their sole reasoning for incorporating black into their logo and uniforms in 1991 would be for the eventual inclusion in a Black Friday column.

Ralphie: I really like the White Sox uniform. I think the white really stands out from the black, and it's easy to read the players' names.

Joe: I think the Chicago White Sox have a great and classic uniform style in their base unis. However, the older, all-black version - "not so much." Overall, the Chi Sox are happy on Black Friday because it matches their team colors. Unfortunately, Black Friday could also sound a toll of the lack of success in recent years.

Chris: A Black Friday sale would behoove the Sox' recent dwindling attendance problems. Nothing would attract a larger crowd to US Cellular Field than the chance to throw elbows and pull hair at an 80 percent off sale in the team store on Black Friday.

Joe: We typically do not get up early or late for that matter and fight the crowds for Black Friday bargains. We do a lot of online and store shopping early and enjoy some December shopping to participate in the holiday spirit.

Ralphie: We don't shop on Thanksgiving, but we eat a lot! This year, I'm getting to watch Christmas Vacation for the first time!

Joe: The Chicago White Sox should buy some plastic storage tubs to put those old short pants unis they had back in the day.

Chris: Considering that the manager who led the White Sox to their last World Series in 2005 was shortly fired after being photographed by "ESPN The Magazine" kissing a dog on the mouth, I would strongly consider the White Sox purchasing Ozzie Guillen a dog muzzle.

Ralphie: The White Sox need to buy some white socks.

Joe: The Chicago White Sox should buy a nice seat pad for Adam LaRoche to warm the bench as he waits his turn to help the Sox with his bat. He can count his $25 million to entertain himself.

Chris: If my last name was "Sale," as is the case with pitcher Chris Sale, I would look to gather as many "Sale" signs as possible, which would either be a good idea - since he could use the signs as labels to mark his property and belongings - or would it be a horrible idea, as his belongings (being marked with a "Sale" sign) would soon belong to others.

Ralphie: The White Sox need to buy a new hitter to take the place of Adam Dinn and Paul Konerko.

Joe: The Chicago White Sox should buy every fan on their "Black List" a pair of white socks to wear to the games next year and not wash them as long as the team wins the games they attend.

Chris: Assuming that the Sox want to keep their whites as white as possible, taking advantage of Target's doorbuster sale to load up on Tide detergent would be a wise investment.

Ralphie: The White Sox need to buy a bullpen full of relief pitchers!

Joe: The Chicago White Sox should buy a their mascot Southpaw a larger Sox hat for the upcoming season. He has outgrown his current hat and will need many more to throw into the sky as he celebrates the many wins coming in '15.

Chris: I'm not sure how many mascot design companies hold Black Friday sales, and I would hate to be the one responsible for putting a mascot on the unemployment line right before the holidays, but the White Sox could use a different mascot. I'm not a supporter of any mascot that can best be described as "I have no idea what on earth he is," though I am sensitive enough to empathize with Southpaw's plight when it comes to filling out "species" on surveys or various applications.

Ralphie: The White Sox need to buy a left fielder they can count on.

Joe: The Chicago White Sox should buy a black wreath on Black Friday and give to the state Democratic party for their losses this year.

Chris: Jose Abreu could help himself by purchasing a box of extra-large bats at Dick's Sporting Goods for all his teammates, particularly those who bat in front of him in the batting order, assuming they would not be offended by using a bat the size the of a tree trunk.

Ralphie: The White Sox need to buy a solid right-handed relief pitcher. I'm available if they can't find anybody. Hey, White Sox, are you listening?

Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.

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