Long Live Burger King's NCAA Basketball Toys

(By Chris, Editor in Chief of MyBriefs.com and the adult writer of the Gab Four, sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)

Possibly being the only air-breathing mammal over 12 years of age who has a fondness for both the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament and for collecting kids meal toys, I can only hope that anyone who spots me with said toys from Burger King's 2015 NCAA Basketball promotion will not confuse me with a cat playing with a ball of yarn.

After having sponsored the NCAA Tournament in 2014, Burger King expanded their 2015 sponsorship to appeal to young basketball fans and 30-something-year-old fans who are too embarrassed to buy toys in a restaurant and have to resort to ordering a complete set off eBay.

Burger King produced six toys in the set, all of which include a plastic, 2-inch, NCAA-labeled basketball, which are not conducive to dribbling.

Basketballs include a blue basketball spinning top, a blue basketball flashlight, a red basketball puzzle, a red basketball windup walker, an orange basketball with a miniature hoop and ball inside and an orange basketball that spins on top of an orange finger. Please note these are not the official product descriptions, as I would rather not receive a court summons from the NCAA due to plagiarism.

All of the toys come with an NCAA-labeled strip of gold paper, which can be folded to create a basketball stand or a miniature water bowl with no bottom.

My favorite toys from the set are the spinning basketball and finger (which I have been wearing around the house, only taking it off to shower and wash dishes) and the one with the miniature hoop and ball inside, the latter providing a week's worth of frustration crammed into a few minutes, until I am able to get the pea-sized ball through the slightly larger than pea-sized hoop.

I am also fond of the windup walking basketball, as it has blue feet, a rarity in nature. It comes with a paper cutout of a hoop, forever taunting its owner, as it can only stand on top of the hoop, rather than actually going through the hoop for two points. I'm not aware of any eyes, ears, nose or mouth on the ball, implying the ball has no ability to see, hear, smell or taste. But it does have the capability of walking, which is, unfortunately, a rules violation in basketball.

While the flashlight basketball may seem unusual at first, it may turn out to be the most useful of the set, especially if I am ever stranded at night somewhere. (This is assuming I decide to carry the fast food prize in my glove compartment to use as a tool in case of an emergency.) Others may have more powerful flashlights, but no one will be able to claim a more stylish one than mine.

The only way this set could be any better is if Burger King chose to promote it. I discovered it when I saw the toys online, whereas a television commercial featuring two kids playing with said toys around strategically placed burgers and chicken nuggets may have been a more prudent technique of propaganda.

Considering that since 1998 (when Taco Bell had a Final Four promotion), there has been only one other NCAA-themed kids meal (KFC in 2001), the odds are not good for Burger King or any other fast food chain returning next year with a new set of toys.

So I suggest running to the nearest Burger King and purchasing a full set of the toys. Run there, but walk out. The little red walking basketball can only go so fast.

Chris is a Waco, Texas, resident, Editor in Chief of MyBriefs.com, author of the book "Sports Briefs" and the adult writer for the Gab Four. Read more of Chris' solo columns here.
https://twitter.com/mybriefschris
http://www.spoonsyogurt.com/

15 comments:

  1. I watch my favorite NCAA March Madness games online with the help of purevpn!! ^_^ http://goo.gl/2gdn2o

    ReplyDelete
  2. Basketball Drills for High School: How to Become a High School Basketball Coach Basketball Guide

    ReplyDelete
  3. Professional training will offer a blend of drills followed by skill development. In order to elevate your game, you need to practice shooting drills and ball handling under the supervision of a skilled professional. best performance basketball shoes

    ReplyDelete
  4. Traveling is a very difficult violation to understand because the number of steps that you can take depend highly on the context of which you received the ball or terminated the dribble. https://ampleom.livejournal.com/794.html

    ReplyDelete
  5. For starters, you should teach older children to keep their toys out of reach of younger children, especially when they contain small parts and/or are breakable. It is also best if you do not put different age appropriate toys into one toy bin. Riesen TeddyBär

    ReplyDelete
  6. Very useful post. This is my first time i visit here. I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. Really its great article. Keep it up. best sex toys

    ReplyDelete
  7. The excellence of basketball is that you don't need to approach a favor court or costly hardware, as you do with some other well known games.NBA Playoff

    ReplyDelete
  8. Your children also may receive toys as presents from well-meaning family members and friends for birthdays and holidays. How can you be sure that the toys you have in your home are safe for your children?big teddy bear

    ReplyDelete
  9. However, you also need to think of safety when you're purchasing trampoline basketball sets. Just because you're buying an activity set that makes use of a trampoline doesn't mean that you're buying something that's 100% safe. As a matter of fact, trampolines can be pretty harmful when they aren't equipped with ample safety barriers. You should always purchase trampoline sets that have secure safety barriers which can prevent your kids from falling off while they're jumping. The safest trampoline basketball sets have seals from official gaming associations. Read more

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thanks you very much for sharing these links. Will definitely check this out..
    מתנה ליולדת

    ReplyDelete
  11. This has to be one of my favorite posts! And on top of thats its also very helpful topic for newbies. thank a lot for the info! cute bear names

    ReplyDelete
  12. These toys are awesome for kids who get a kick out of the chance to be tested. They are intelligent and start creative ability. There are grown-ups who likewise appreciate utilizing these sets for no particular reason.best sand for sandbox

    ReplyDelete
  13. I’ve been searching for some decent stuff on the subject and haven't had any luck up until this point, You just got a new biggest fan!.. Sports

    ReplyDelete
  14. In any case, basketball is a physical game that makes players inclined to wounds. The wounds are usually caused by falls, ungainly arrivals, being hit by the ball, and unexpected alters of course while running. The lower legs, hands, and knees are where the wounds are generally normal. To keep those wounds, here are some basketball in the mid year wellbeing tips.Best basketball bags

    ReplyDelete
  15. This can help build your stamina and agility, not to mention your scoring potential during the actual game. https://basketballhooplab.com/

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...