(The Gab Four didn't attend Media Day at the 2015 NBA Finals, mainly because there was no Media Day. But had there been, here is what they would have liked to ask members of the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers Heat . . . Sponsored by 3 Spoons Yogurt)
Joe: I'd like to ask the Warriors players if they think Delly's reckless play, resulting in several injured players, is a concern to them.
Chris: I'd like to ask Stephen Curry what contest, at a hypothetical Curry Family Picnic, takes the longest to complete: HORSE or Monopoly.
Brad: I'd like to ask Steph Curry how he gained the motivation to show up to every practice an hour before and end an hour later every day.
Ralphie: I'd like to ask Stephen Curry how he makes almost every single three-pointer he attempts.
Joe: I'd like to ask LeBron if he considers himself the greatest of all time. If not, who is?
Chris: I'd like to ask LeBron James where his headband will be watching the Finals from.
Brad: I'd like to ask all Cavaliers fans, who pieced together their burnt LeBron jerseys, how much one ticket is to hop aboard the bandwagon express.
Ralphie: I'd like to ask the players who went straight to the NBA if they regret that choice or if they'd do it again.
Joe: I'd like to ask LeBron how are his injuries and will he be 100 percent for Game 1.
Chris: I'd like to ask Kyrie Irving if he realizes that his Pepsi commercial alter ego, the 97-year-old Uncle Drew, currently has fewer ailments than he does.
Brad: I'd like to ask Kyrie Irving how he felt when LeBron took over “his” team.
Ralphie: I'd like to ask all of the players and coaches if they still love what they do or if it ever gets old.
Joe: I'd like to ask Curry if being the MVP adds any pressure to helping the Warriors win the championship.
Chris: I’d like to ask J.R. Smith, if all of his tattoos were colored in, would he resemble a circus clown.
Brad: I'd like to ask Steve Kerr what it’s like coaching a young MVP-talent point guard like Steph Curry. Does he just shoot 3s that aren’t in the game plan? Does his creativity drive you crazy, or do you welcome it?
Ralphie: I'd like to ask Golden State's coach how he get his team to get so pumped up.
Joe: I'd like to ask to Cavs’ owner what is his return on investment for signing LeBron.
Chris: I’d like to ask Dan Gilbert, if the Cavaliers win the NBA Finals, will he request the engraving on the Larry O’Brien Trophy to be done with a Comic Sans font.
Brad: I'd like to ask the head coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers what his take is on the blockbuster trade that sent Kevin Love to Cleveland and Rookie of the Year Andrew Wiggins to the Timberwolves. Does he feel he won or lost that trade in the long run?
Ralphie: I'd like to ask the coaches of each team what they like to see in a new player.
Joe: I'd like to ask Curry if the injury he incurred in Game 4 slowed him down in Game 5.
Chris: I’d like to ask Festus Ezeli if it would be acceptable if I were to call him “Uncle Festus” and if a light bulb would illuminate if he were to place it in his mouth.
Brad: I'd like to ask Klay Thompson what it feels like always being one step behind his point guard.
Ralphie: I'd like to ask the Golden State players if they know of any tricks I could use to make a 3-pointer every time.
Joe: I'd like to ask LeBron who did the best job of defending him this year.
Chris: I'd like to ask Iman Shumpert how many inches his hair adds to his height.
Brad: I'd like to ask Kevin Love if he plans on staying in Cleveland next year.
Ralphie: I'd like to ask the players who played for their colleges if they think it helped them to play for college first.
Joe: I'd like to ask the Commissioner if the NBA was pulling for a Warriors/Cavs series for TV and revenue reasons.
Chris: I'd like to ask the Cavaliers mascot, Sir CC, what's the difference between a cavalier and a musketeer, though being a mascot, my chances for a verbal response are not favorable.
Brad: I'd like to ask the Golden State Warriors former mascot if he misses celebrating so many 3-pointers made.
Ralphie: I'd like to ask Golden State why they got rid of Thunder.
Joe: I'd like to ask Warriors fans if they will be cheering for someone to take Delly out at the knees.
Chris: I'd like to ask Australians Andrew Bogut and Matthew Dellavedova if either of them have ever wrestled any crocodiles, eaten any snakes or own a stuffed adult kangaroo.
Brad: I'd like to ask Steph Curry if he was really trying against James Harden, or was it THAT easy to embarrass him on his home court.
Ralphie: I'd like to ask the Golden State players if it's important to start playing basketball when you're a kid.
Joe: I’d like to ask LeBron how many games it will take to win the series.
Chris: I’d like to ask J.R. Smith to repeat himself, immediately after he references someone shooting, “Who shot, J.R.?”
Brad: I'd like to ask LeBron James what it’s like making an appearance in so many championships.
Ralphie: I'd like to ask the coaches what I should do at my age to be working toward a career in the NBA.
Try on a new pair of Sports Briefs with the Gab Four every Friday. Find out more about Joe, Chris, Brad and Ralphie, and read their solo columns on their individual pages.