The NFL on Cheez-It

(By David Grant)

Recent Cheez-It News Flashes:

"I don't give a Cheez-It what they said . . . I'm going to Buffalo!" - so says Rex Ryan.

"I just ate a bag of Cheez-Its, and my hands look like Lester Hayes," - Raiders DB Charles Woodson.

"Those Cheez-Its are covered in cheese . . . I mean, c'mon man, I couldn't cover you like dat," - NFL Network's Deion Sanders.


The Cleveland Browns announce that their new orange color is now officially called "Cheez-Its" orange.

The Cincinnati Bengals filed a lawsuit against the Browns for "dumbing down" their mascot by saying he's on the Cheez-Its package. Well, really they meant he's on the Cheetos package . . . but, you know, it's Cleveland.

The NFL announced this week that the new coaches challenge flags will be empty 2 oz. Cheez-Its bags. The NFL says the orange bags will be easier to see when using the high definition replay system. No word on who will be eating all the Cheez-Its to empty those bags.

From Seattle, word on the street is that Skittles are so 2014, and it will be Cheez-Its on the sidelines this year at Seahawks games. No doubt they'll be accompanied by the new orange-flavored Vitaminwater.

NFL Network to "Combine" Cheez-Its and Pepsi into a power snack, and then have Rich Eisen re-run the 40-yard dash.

Last year's NFL Pro Bowl uniforms were certified as "Cheez-Its friendly." You could easily wipe your hands on the orange jerseys and not see any trace of the snack. No word if NFL officials fined any players for the orange fingerprints on their socks.

The NFL is set to launch a new partnership with Canon for its "Say Cheez-Its" campaign. The new EOS cameras will feature a commercial that indicates that EOS on the Cheez-Its box stands for: Every One Counts.

NFL Play60 commercials to feature a clock and a big bag of Cheez-Its. The commercials are titled "How fast can you eat your bag?" Apparently, Ickey Woods was dropped as a spokesman for the campaign because he thought Play60 meant eating 60 bags.

NFLShop commercials to advertise that you can get any team's logo printed on a custom box of Cheez-Its. The commercial will say: "Cheez your team." No word if Jacksonville fans have figured out which team to feature on their boxes yet.

The Raiders plan to move in to Cheez-Its Stadium. The stadium banner will read: "We have more plays than there are Cheez-Its in a box." No word on if the Raiders were also wanting Jon Gruden to come back as Chucky Cheese at Cheez-Its Stadium. The rest of the AFC West didn't think that was funny, apparently, because Andy Reid is now working on his "eight men in a box" defense.
 

And in San Diego, the Chargers are saying that all Cheez-Its look the same, so perhaps the Raiders really only have one play but plan to run it 209 times.
 

And in Denver, Peyton Manning is changing his line of scrimmage call from "Omaha" to "Cheez-Its," in an apparent attempt to confuse the Raiders defense.

David Grant is a former NCAA official and currently resides in southern California. He is the site's NFL Briefs writer.
https://twitter.com/Ref_Guru

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