(By Christopher Wilson)
"Those are some appetizing shoes" is a sentiment that has only ever been pondered by a goat. But thanks to Krispy Kreme, Nike and Kyrie Irving, it is now possible for me to share the same perspective as a goat.
New for 2016 are Nike's limited edition Kyrie 2 Ky-Rispy Kreme basketball sneakers, which look as much like a Krispy Kreme donut as footwear can. The shoes are mostly white with red and green sprinkles, sharing the same color scheme as the Krispy Kreme logo.
New shoes usually have a smell, but all I can think of at the moment is the aroma of Krispy Kreme glaze . . . albeit leather covered in glaze.
The zapatos went on sale May 17, as a Ky-Rispy Kreme truck parked outside the Cleveland Cavaliers gym prior to Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Not only did the truck look identical to a Krispy Kreme truck, but Irving's shoes were sold in a shoebox made to look exactly like the boxes Krispy Kreme puts their donuts in.
I am now craving chocolate milk to dunk my shoes in.
If anyone was on the fence about buying donut shoes, Nike produced a mouth-watering commercial featuring Irving dressed as a chef and eating sinkers. Irving has come full circle since his rookie season in 2011, when he was made to pick up edible Krispy Kremes for his teammates. He now provides wearable Krispy Kremes for his teammates.
Nike employees working in the truck wore Ky-Rispy Kreme paper hats and aprons and even gave away a donut with purchase of the sneakers. And anyone who threw away their donut wrapper was throwing away money, as used Ky-Rispy Kreme wrappers are currently listed on eBay for more than I want to pay for someone's leftover crumbs.
The Ky-Rispy Kreme truck is scheduled to make stops in Baltimore and New York selling the exclusive shoes, while a slightly different and customizable version of the Kyrie 2 is available online for $165. Nike advertises it as the ability to "choose your flavor," which is appealing to someone who would want to wear blueberry cake or cinnamon apple filling on their feet.
No customer who purchased the shoes or plans to will be blamed for putting their foot in their mouth.
Christopher is a Waco, Texas, resident, Editor in Chief of MyBriefs.com, author of the book "Sports Briefs" and the adult writer for the Gab Four. Read more of his solo columns here.